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Commonplace Lavatory Laughs

Toilet humor has long been the reliable retreat in everyday journalism, and we are always mindful to significant toilet tales and key events, notably connected to soccer. Readers were entertained to find out that an online journalist a well-known presenter has a West Brom-themed urinal at his home. Consider the situation regarding the Barnsley supporter who understood the bathroom somewhat too seriously, and needed rescuing from an empty Oakwell stadium post-napping in the lavatory at half-time during a 2015 defeat by Fleetwood. “He was barefoot and couldn't find his phone and his cap,” stated an official from the local fire department. And everyone remembers when, at the height of his fame playing for City, Mario Balotelli entered a community college to use the facilities in 2012. “Balotelli parked his Bentley outside, then entered and inquired the location of the toilets, then he went to the teachers’ staff room,” a student told local Manchester media. “After that he was just walking through the school as if he owned it.”

The Restroom Quitting

This Tuesday commemorates a quarter-century from when Kevin Keegan quit as the England coach post a quick discussion within a restroom stall with FA director David Davies in the underground areas of Wembley, following that infamous 1-0 defeat by Germany in 2000 – the national team's concluding fixture at the historic stadium. According to Davies' personal account, his confidential FA records, he entered the drenched troubled England locker room right after the game, discovering David Beckham crying and Tony Adams “fired up”, both players begging for the suit to bring Keegan to his senses. Following Dietmar Hamann’s free-kick, Keegan walked slowly through the tunnel with a distant gaze, and Davies located him seated – just as he was at Anfield in 1996 – in the corner of the dressing room, saying quietly: “I’m off. I’m not for this.” Stopping Keegan, Davies attempted urgently to rescue the scenario.

“What place could we identify [for a chat] that was private?” stated Davies. “The passageway? Swarming with media. The locker room? Packed with upset players. The shower area? I was unable to have a crucial talk with the team manager as squad members entered the baths. Merely one possibility emerged. The restroom stalls. A significant event in English football's extensive history happened in the old toilets of a stadium facing demolition. The coming demolition was almost tangible. Pulling Kevin into a stall, I secured the door behind us. We stayed there, eye to eye. ‘My decision is final,’ Kevin declared. ‘I'm gone. I'm not suitable. I'll inform the media that I'm not adequate. I'm unable to energize the team. I can't extract the additional effort from these athletes that's required.’”

The Aftermath

Therefore, Keegan stepped down, subsequently confessing he considered his stint as England manager “without spirit”. The two-time Ballon d’Or winner added: “I had difficulty passing the hours. I ended up coaching the blind squad, the hearing-impaired team, supporting the female team. It's a tremendously tough role.” The English game has progressed significantly in the quarter of a century since. Regardless of improvement or decline, those stadium lavatories and those iconic towers are long gone, whereas a German currently occupies in the coaching zone Keegan formerly inhabited. The German's squad is viewed as one of the contenders for the upcoming Geopolitics World Cup: National team followers, value this time. This particular anniversary from one of the Three Lions’ darkest days acts as a memory that circumstances weren't consistently this positive.

Current Reports

Join Luke McLaughlin at 8pm BST for Women's major tournament coverage from Arsenal 2-1 OL Lyonnes.

Today's Statement

“There we stood in a long row, wearing only our undergarments. We represented Europe's top officials, elite athletes, role models, adults, parents, strong personalities with strong principles … however all remained silent. We hardly glanced at one another, our gazes flickered a bit nervously when we were requested to advance in couples. There Collina examined us thoroughly with an ice-cold gaze. Silent and observant” – ex-international official Jonas Eriksson shares the degrading procedures officials were once put through by former Uefa head of referees Pierluigi Collina.

Football Daily Letters

“What’s in a name? There exists a Dr Seuss poem titled ‘Too Many Daves’. Have Blackpool suffered from Too Many Steves? Steve Bruce, along with aides Steve Agnew and Steve Clemence have been dismissed through the exit. Is this the termination of the Steve fascination? Not exactly! Steve Banks and Steve Dobbie stay to oversee the primary team. Complete Steve forward!” – John Myles

“Since you've opened the budget and awarded some merch, I have decided to put finger to keypad and offer a concise remark. Ange Postecoglou states that he picked fights on the school grounds with children he anticipated would defeat him. This masochistic tendency must account for his decision to join Nottingham Forest. As an enduring Tottenham follower I'll remain thankful for the second-year silverware but the only second-season trophy I can see him winning by the Trent, if he lasts that long, is the second division and that would be quite a challenge {under the present owner” – Stewart McGuinness.|